Big Booty Judy

Pretty sure my rump doesn't quite look like this...but I still enjoy this ad.

Hot mess on the court

You think these fellas got made fun of in the locker room? You betcha.
Super awkward. (and random)

i believe this supports my previous post..



I better find my passport...

Interestingly enough, there is a job opening in Singapore. Just for two minutes, think about how awesome that would be to pick up and leave everything and just start over somewhere fresh and completely foreign...no? Doesn't sound appealing? It does to me! I often find myself day dreaming about packing up my life and just traveling the globe from job to job. I realize that this doesn't resemble anything stable or reassuring. But maybe that is overrated to begin with. Perhaps, just living day to day and enjoying life and not worrying about my savings (or lack there of) or counting down days until my next vacation.

I'm not gonna lie, I thought about it for longer than two minutes. What do you think people? Yaz or Naz???

Matt Lauer Spends a Day as a CLS

This a spark notes version of my job description. Which is helpful as no one knows what it is. So watch this, that way you can tell other people and I don't have to. : )

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

"someone to fall in love with who I am"

That's just TACKY

Pretty self explanatory. A list of things that I (and the friends i polled) find to be tacky:

1. Horrendous lawn ornaments 2 months before (and after) the holiday.
2. When the individual your going on a date with openly asks you if your going to pay.
3. When your place of work calls you and asks for a donation.(no, I am still not over it)
4. People that talk loudly on their cell phone in a small space. i.e, elevator/bathroom stall
5. The "dollar dance" at weddings.
6. When your thong hangs out of your jeans. (Guiltyyy)
7. When strangers who are waiting in line with you try to bitch about other customers with you.
8. Socks with sandals (*disclaimer, this is my #1).
9.People who chew with their mouths open.
10.Jesus fish
11. When you ask someone "how are you?" and they do not ask in return...
12. Breast-feeding in public.
13. Camel-toes. (Also, guilty).
14. Anytyhing bedazzled and/or Ed Hardy.
15. Girls that wear Uggs in the summer.

Aaannnd the list goes on...

De-Funk

Last night I was on the train to funky town and when I woke up this morning I still was a little moody. However, all i needed was a little music therapy to "de-funk" me. Sean Hayes & Florence and the Machine did the trick. I won't lie-- I was dancing in my living room (sans pants) to these jams. Something about their lyrics and rhythm made me feel...lighter.



This video is enough to make you spaz out. She is one wild ginger.



Clearly...

Clearly, Usher is family man as he is carving pumpkin's with his son. How refreshing.

Clearly, Lenny Kravitz has lost his mind as he is wearing a shirt/dress and leather pant/boots.

Clearly, Monica is engaged, but she doesn't quite know which hand it belongs on.

I'm just sayin'...

Feelin' Festive

This past weekend I went pumpkin pickin' at a local farm in Somerset. It certainly put me in a good mood and it was an absolute perfect day. The air was crisp and the sky couldn't have been more blue. I am optimistic about the week to come!

I bet you can't listen to it just once..

I doubt this will come as a suprise but I have a slight obsession with Drake's voice and then combining it with Rihanna's---> I am pleased. This one was on repeat all weekend. I think he was talking about me when he says "i heard you good with those soft lips....yeah you know, word of mouth." Ha!

love-locked

I want/need/must feel this close to someone, someday.

Add this to your Christmas List...

$420

According to the website:

Pearl Necklace is a seemingly amorphous cast silver shape on a chain that is actually an accurate representation of semen. It is a visual marker of chaos turned perfection through an act of beauty and lust. Pearl Necklace is a physical reminder of a fleeting moment of pleasure.

Neat. Literally.

It's been a hot minute..

since we had a HOT MESSSSSSSSSS... so here you go. This should def curb your cravings ---->

This saddens me.

Sunday Sermon

Last night I went to see M. Night Shyamalan's movie, Devil (*sidenote, it was a date). I am already a fan of his movies but this one definitely had me thinking at the end of it. The whole premise of the movie is that "bad things happen for a reason". Before the screen turns black and the credits role, the narrator leaves the audience with this thought "if the Devil is indeed real, than that must mean that God is too." Not to start a religious debate, but this personally comforted me and made me really reflect on the movie and my personal beliefs. You don't have good without evil, and you certainly can't have a savior without a demon. ((Come on people, it's the sabbath!)) Whomever or whatever you worship, I recommend it.

My daily dose of wisdom

Preach.

Dear Sugar Daddy:

Size 5 1/2 in boys. Please and thank you.

Let's Pretend...

That in the event I have money left over once I pay my monthly bills I will buy something off of my wish list. Despite the fact that it is a three pay month, I am 150% sure I will still manage to owe money to the man for something! In the meantime, these are what I have been eyeing up....

These are very similar to the grey Vans I just purchased, but how adorable. Who new Keds were so stylish these days? They have managed to stay popular since, like, 1916. I can't make any promises that I won't buy these too.


I kind of need this. I am obsessed with the over-sized G-Shock. These run about $150-$175. Although I love myself enough to cough up the cash, I think I will never make the commitment.



This is practical. I need another place to sit in my living room. I really like the roundabout chair or at least the chair and 1/2. I will end up at IKEA i am sure, but I am digging this olive one; I can envision how nice my ass would fit in there.

Finally, Lance Gross. Not sure if he is for sale...but a girl can still LOOK.

I.can't.deal. He is too attractive. Be forewarned, there will be an obnoxious amount of photos of him to come.

Walk it Out

Working at a children's hospital has not only made me more aware of the many disorders that many patients and their families face but it has also provided me the opportunity to participate by raising awareness. October 3rd I am walking to support a co-worker's son, who suffers from childhood apraxia of speech. Childhood apraxia of speech (CAS) is a motor speech disorder. Children with CAS have problems saying sounds, syllables, and words. This is not because of muscle weakness or paralysis. The brain has problems planning to move the body parts (lips, jaw, tongue) needed for speech. The child knows what he or she wants to say, but his/her brain has difficulty coordinating the muscle movements necessary to say those words, according to the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association website.

I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for a child who wants so badly to talk but is trapped as their mouth won't form the words they are thinking. As a parent, it must be heart wrenching. However, there is hope that with research and many hours of speech therapy, the words will come. My co-workers and I formed a team to walk/run and it should be a great event. They have already raised $17,000. Please check out the website to educate yourself; and if your feeling generous, it would be greatly appreciated if you wanted to donate.

Heads or Tails?

This is so true. I think I am going to go back to making all major decisions this way.

Today's Notable Events...

A few notable things occured today:

1. My parents have been married for 32 years today.
In a world of divorce this gives me hope that someday I can fall madly in love with my best friend.

2. Willow Smith, (Jada and Will's daughter) has signed to Jay Z's label and has a hot new song out (Whip My Hair) She is 9. This is absurd. Even more absurd, I may actually like it. I was playing with my trolls when I was 9...

It seems simple, but yet so complex.

Continuing my "new season, new me" mantra, I went out on limb and did something I haven't done in a while. I went on a date. That being a whole separate story, I wanted to bring up a conversation me and my date had. We were making casual conversation par for the course, when he asked me very matter of factly: "Tell me something about yourself that your embarrassed/scared to admit."

Uhhhmm excuuuuuuuse YOU!? I was surprised at how forward and private a question he was asking. I guess he saw the look on my face because he clarified by saying: "What's the big deal? Everyone has some dirty laundry to air, and if you can't tell a stranger, who can you tell?

Not only did this challenge me, but I think I was impressed with his matter-of-fact response. You don't get answers if you don't ask questions. Here I sit, 4 days later, and I am still pondering my appropriate, safe answer. What's my dirty laundry? What is yours?

Dear Summer: Im over you.

It's nothing personal. Acutally... its entirely personal. I am just over it. I can't wait for the first crisp Autumn night where I can sleep with the windows open and wake up a little chilly. I want to wear a scarf again and dig my hoodies out of the closet. I want to pre-game for a football game in my sweatpants.

It's the perfect time of year to start fresh. Or maybe, just start over. I am trying to make an effort to work out in some way, everyday. I am flirting with the idea of going back to school and cracking the books again. I am even trying to finish decorating my apartment that I have been inhabiting for months. I may even give my blog a face-lift, as I have been on a hiatus. I feel like I have some challenges to face and I guess there is no better time than the present. Shit. I just might be on the brink of rediscovering myself. So...here's to fall and whatever it may bring.

Speechless

I was wasting time with S & E last night and we were paroozing internet shiz when S showed us this wedding proposal caught on tape. It's long but totally worth it. Normally I find wedding proposals to be cheesy and regular. However, this one is totally unique and so much thought went into it. That is one lucky girl.

Not only was I left with a tear in my eye but also the lingering thought, could anyone love me
enough to do something so hopelessly romantic?

yesterday

something about this quote makes me feel good.

Stop N Shop MESS.

Unfortunately I do have a visual for you all. However, this gentleman definitely takes the cake for a hot mess. I found him stumbling aimlessly down the isles of Stop N Shop in complete and utter disarray. Now, I am not a fan of grocery shopping in the least, so I only have like 4 things in my cart and I am one frozen dinner away from checking out. This character asks "excuse me, do you know where I can find the frozen corn on the cob?" I slowly turn around as I do believe this man is speaking to me.....after a long awkward pause I reply "Frozen corn on the cob?" He shakes his head in a way that makes me want to run away. I am almost 100% positive but do NOT quote me on this that there is really no such thing as frozen corn on the cob. There is frozen corn, and there is also corn on the cob. But no such hybrid. Not only was I confused by his question, but I was also a little upset that he perhaps thought I, of all people, would know where anything was even located. I politely pointed him to the frozen vegetable's (despite, the fact he is going to be disappointed once he gets there). He scurried away with his list.

10inTen

I need your help, loyal readers. For what you ask? To spread the word...my friend is launching a blog countdown to raise $10.000 in the next 10 weeks. (10 in Ten) I'm not gonna spoil the excitement of checking it out, so please click here!!!! Feel free to pass it along, contribute, or simply follow along for the next few weeks. Her philosophy is you never know what people are willing or capable of unless you ask. So she did. I think the idea is brilliant, and clearly she is too. Frankly, you should just check it OUTTTT.

Hot Mess Goes to Prom

One of my loyal readers emailed me these gems. I am grateful as it can turn an ordinary Wednesday into a fantastic one. These are hot and messy. Oye. Enjoy!

You shouldn't go to prom: in your pajamas, or bring your baby in their pajamas with you...



Whoever told her that the dress fit, clearly is a filthy liar. Also, isn't she too old for prom?

Don't wear an owl, ever. Ever.

If it wasn't for the PROOF stamped on this, i would NOT believe it. I hope she made this.

Obsessions

My latest are as follows:

1. the etsy website. It's like ebay without bidding and it is a unique venue for artists ranging from jewelry to artwork. I can actually afford some of the merch.

2. Drake's new album. I could prolly listen to his voice for days.

3. Wii Fit Yoga poses?! I know this is old news, but I am re-discovering it. Even tho it isn't a yoga class, its free and I feel the burn. Pretty sweet.

4. aaannd this image

Complete Double Rainbow

As I am sure many of you have seen the new viral video on Youtube that everyone is talking about--->Double Rainbow. Dude, I am not sure if this man was under the influence or having a sexual encounter, but it is hilarious. Without a doubt, this puts me in a good mood. If you haven't seen it, check it out, it is long but so worth the wait. If your like me, you will also want to see the remixxxx. Don't act like your too cool for it. Cuz your not.

I find this to be fascinating.

What's your favorite part of this hot mess? Personally, I enjoy the fact that perhaps she is rockin' a business suit....wow.

soak this in...

how comforting

flash mob

This summer I have been working on my bucket list, which i am not prepared to share quite yet; HOWEVER, I will share one item. I wanna be in a flash mob. One of the most famous ones is that was done by Oprah's audience at an outdoor concert of the Black Eyed Peas. A flash mob is when a large group of strangers spontaneously break out in dance in a random location (or so it appears). Train stations, college campuses, even in libraries and grocery stores. I attached one that was done at Univ of Ohio in their student center. I know, how random. Yet, genius and hilarious. Come on...who wants to flash mob with me?!?!? Fine...I will do it myself.

Shit My Dad Says

I always think that the stuff my parents say to me is hilarious and extremely quotable. I should of totally written down more of the things that they have said to me and my brother over the years. However, 29 year old, Justin Halpern has beat me to it. He lives with his 73 year old father and now has a book, twitter and blog dedicated to "Shit My Dad Says". It is obscene and I am impressed with the bluntness and the fact he does not mince words. Below are a few of my favorites but you can check them out for yourself here!

"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

"Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you. Jesus, don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of shitting on you."

"Don't ask for my opinion then. I said congrats on the car, just saying nobody's panties are getting wet from a fucking Honda Accord."

Saw my bank account, like where are all the 0's at?!?!?

Story of my life. Tomorrow is pay day. Today I have $25.76. For me, this is impressive as I stayed out of the negative once again. But this is NO way to live.......seriously. I have made a budget. I don't spend a lot of $$ on "extra's". I really just literally make enough to exist in a single bedroom apartment. I am grateful for a paycheck, who isn't? BUT.....maybe it's time to start playing the lotto...

Posner, Mike.

mix it, boi.

I am feeling Mike Posner. Hard. I can't seem to get his voice out of my head. He kinda reminds me of a male Macy Gray. I love the smoothness of his voice and lyrics. And I have spent a significant amount of time listening to all the tracks and remixes...they are all so damn catchy. I.am.obsessed. Right now my favorite is his cover of the The Fray: Over my Head Remix. You can be a groupie too...

"Tell us a Fun Fact" (C.O.D)

You know when you are in a group setting and everyone has to go around and and say their name and an interesting/fun fact about themselves in an effort to get to know them better?? Like "I am allergic to shellfish" or "I have 3 hamsters" or even "I like the color periwinkle". Another example is when your watching Wheel of Fortune and the players are introduced and they say something like "My name is Beverly, I live in Santa Fe with my 2 kids and I like to watch the Cowboys". Uhm, newsflash Bev, that is neither interesting nor fun.

I HATE THAT. I loathe that question and the awkward silence that precedes it. I am aware that it shouldn't be that hard to tell a tiny piece of information about yourself, but let's be real half of the shit that people come up with is lame; including myself. I never ever EVER have anything good to say. If someone reads this and could come up with a pocket response that I can use every time, I will give you my utmost respect.

**note I am not hating on Wheel of Fortune, just the idiots that are on it**

simple is underated.

I generally am not into art as I don't understand enough about it to "get it". However, marc johns i totally "get". Its simple and basic and I believe he uses ink and water colors. Above are a few of my favorites from his sticky note collection. Check it out.

Bring on the World Cup (and the sexy men that are in it)

In honor of the the 2010 World Cup, I have done some extensive research on the beloved football players. And by extensive, I google imaged them shirtless. I dunno what it is, but there is something about a soccer body.....yumo. Please realize this is not a complete list of the sexiness that FIFA brings to the table.

Carlton Cole. And his naked body.

These Are the 10 Hottest Players on the U.S. World Cup Soccer Team

Soccer players are sexy. It's the constant running and propensity to rip off their shirts after scoring, I guess. Rather than take a look at the U.S. team's chances at the World Cup, let's just take a look at them.

America's national pastime is baseball and our winter obsession is football, but the problem with both of those is that the guys stand around for long periods of time doing nothing but getting fat. Not so with soccer—or football, as the rest of the world calls it. These guys work hard. And they sweat. And then they get naked. And then they rub all over each other. It's almost more than we can handle.

When the action begins for the World Cup in South Africa on June 11, we may tune in for a game or two to root for our boys in blue but, let's be honest, they don't stand a chance. What we're really going to be waiting for is the promise of hot man flesh. Here are our favorite members of the team, in order of preference based on nothing but their appearance. What? We're not above being shallow.

Tim Howard. Maybe goalies should take their shirts off more often.

Oguchi Onyewu. I can't say your name, but I shall call you sexy.

Carlos Bocanegra. Unzip that warm-up, por favor?

Benny Feilhaber. You look too innocent.

Tell me something goOooOOOood

I often forget the good things that happened during the week when I have a shitty day, so let's recap the things that made me happy/smile/feel better/laugh, etc.

a. It rained and cooled things off tremendously
b. Common and Serena broke up (they creeped me out)
c. My boss is away on a conference for the next few days
d. I discovered that despite being single, i am still very content with my life.
e. I saw my parents (they fed me lots of good food)
f. I had Monday off
g. Today was PAY DAYYYYYY
h. I rediscovered the 70's song featured below

A bone to pick

As ridiculously unrealistic as ABC's the Bachelorette/Bachelor is, I am an avid fan. I admit that I watch it despite the fact that I think it is an absurd concept for a show to "fall in love" in a matter of weeks with a group of hand picked men. On that note: here is my bone i have to pick with ABC... or maybe it's with Ali. Please observe the photo below. This is not all of the men that are currently on the show, but do you notice anything!? Yeaaaa they are all white, as in Caucasian as in NOT ethnic. I understand that this is a dating show and Ali probably has a certain "type" of man. Especially if she is following the lead of Jake (the previous Bachelor whom she dated), it would make sense that so many of them are tan, blonde and blue-eyed. Butttt it has to be said. She is missing OUTT. How boooorrrrrrringggg. Maybe she would have a better shot at "finding love" if she had more of a variety. Im just sayin'. Im also disappointed in ABC and their casting. Whomp! Let's spice it up a bit, eh? Im an equal opportunity employer and I believe that there needs to be some men of color in there!

Since im making a point......
this is Jillian from two seasons ago.....check out her bland group of men


Oh and Jake too...there may be a Spanish chick in there...

Peek-a-Butt

This is a real life picture of a real life hot mess, taken by, yours truly. E, M and I followed her all around Marshall's in an effort to figure out her peculiar summer wardrobe. The back view does NOT give her justice. Honestly, she looks topless, BUT she is actually wearing what appears to be a string halter type thing. After some research, we concluded that she has absolutely nothing on underneath that hideous black cloth. Every time she took a step her butt cheeks would take turns popping out to say heyyyyy. It was horrible. Each boob was pointing in an opposite direction. And i don't think u can tell from the pic, but she is sporting a silver-glitter purse that looks about big enough to store her drug of choice. She kept pacing around the store, feverishly picking things up but never buying anything. The least offensive thing about her may be her white, pleather moccasins. I mean COME ON! You didn't look in one mirror? Or worse, u did, and you still thought you looked decent enough to go out in public in broad daylight?!?! Thanks to her we have our winner for Sunday HM.

50 cent looks like 25 cents

Yikessss. 50 has shed some lbs for his upcoming movie, "Things Fall Apart", where he plays a football player with cancer. He certainly looks like he is falling apart. What does he have on his eyebrows? And I am not gonna lie, I probably won't be running to the box office to see this movie. Let me know how it does.

Preach!

Now that summer is approaching and the weather is pretty decent, I have been making a conscious effort to excercise once I get home from work and before I morph into the sofa. Warmer weather= less clothes, which = more attention to your figure. That being said it was refreshing to read this quote:

"When the truth of the matter is that men enjoy the hourglass shape. The Beyonce, the Kim Khardashian, the Christina Hendricks. Those are perfect hourglass shapes, baby, so stop trying to kill yourself with cucumber salads and mineral water all damn day."

THANK YOU for the real talk. This quote is from 'O Hell Nawl', a blog that provides its readers with a males perspective on many issues. A very down-to-earth perspective, at that. It's nice to know that not all men want a size 0. I used to constantly be offended at being grouped into the category of being a "thick" or "curvy" female... now i plan on embracing it. Shake what your momma gave yah.

or

Cooler than A Polar Bear's Toe Nails

The Huffington Post has a very informative article that most men should consider reading. For the definitive list on how to be cool.....please click here. My personal favorites are "move to Williamsburg" and "hang out with Steve".

Cry much?

I'm not gonna act like I don't cry. Because I do, I am a softie. But this is nuts. I literally laughed at this for a solid 30 minutes.

::Bulletproof:

la roux- Bulletproof is my new summer anthem. I may have listened to it about 40 times on repeat and sampled all the club re-mixes. I can't get enough of her. This isn't the official vid, but its all i could get my hands on. Its like retro meets house music. Im diggin' it.

Denim Debauchery

I love jeans. I wear them for everyday errands or when I go out on the weekends. I wear them with sneakers and sandals. I prefer to wear them in the summer, too. HOWEVER, the jeans below are simply uncalled for and foul. I would not be caught dead in these. Enjoy : )

Do you wear underwear with this or is the thong built in?

<<< uhm these are guaranteed to make you look 2ft. tall!

Word on the street, these are D&G. These are fucking ugly.

<< Really? It looks like there is a diaper in there.